In all seriousness, Eric and I have been dealing with a lot of bad situations as a couple. Other couples are totally cool with us and love us. People who understand love, or just us as people, are also totally cool with us. But, for some reason, being too into or close to Eric is a bad stigma to the bulk of my peers.
When I say peers, being 19 and in college, I mean the 18-22 year old college students.
But EC and I have gone so much further than we could have by ourselves. We have our own personal things and we have problems as a pair but, in truth, I feel far better off with EC in my life. I'm tired of hearing people like me being laughed at or laughed about. I was the lonely kid in middle school. I am the weird girl on the bus who everyone thought cut herself. I used to starve myself. I used to overexercise to the point of hospitalization. I had a horrible self image of myself. I did end up hurting myself a few times. I was in an on and off relationship in high school and into college that I let control me, my wallet, my lifestyle, my feelings. I have and have had a lot of feelings. I have so many weaknesses. I have so many flaws. But Eric has helped me become bigger than any of those things. Before the bulk of everything happened, I loved the quote "Life is too short, or too long, to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly". It is both a curse and a privilege to have control over our lives. It all depends on how we live. Life is too short, or too long, to spend on the negative. Life is too short, or too long, to live in flaws and mistakes. Eric showed me why all the previous things in my life haven't worked out. Eric showed me a new light. He showed me a purity and a realness that I had long forgotten and only ever had seen in my mom's eyes. We went to church together for the first time about two months after we started dating.
I don't know about anyone else (not even Eric) but God helps me move past everything he didn't want for me. He helps me see that if I didn't succeed somewhere, it was for something more. He helps me see that if I did someone wrong, I can apologize and make things right and be a more God-like individual. He helps me see that if I am wronged, I can forgive and let it go and move past to something more. He helps me see that Eric and I can move past anything together if we love through His love and allow ourselves to step on our pride and show each other humility, truly show each other our love.
He helps me live my life well and without indulging in my flaws, without drowning in my mistakes. He is the reason I am able to smile and laugh and love Eric the way I do. And for that, I am eternally grateful and 300% willing to serve in his likeness.
I used to think God was just a bunch of kitty feces. I used to. I used to think that any who followed him were just blind. But I saw Eric follow, I see him love God to his fullest, and it felt right in my heart. My heart warms every single time you pray before we eat and we both give him thanks for all he has done for us and let him know when we need his guidance. We fight and I know we're both talking to God in our silence, trying to figure out how to show each other His love instead.
But the bulk of my peers don't understand that because God's love is universal so is the love we share on Earth. And the bulk of my peers don't understand that just because I am in love with him and he is a louder person while I have always been a quiet one does NOT mean that he defines me. Yes, he is part of my definition, but I am my own person. We both help each other be who we want to be. And just because Eric speaks louder than me and is more outgoing than me does not make me any less of a human being and any less deserving of respect as an individual person.
We are all our own people. We are all different, with different backgrounds, different cultures, different lives and situations.
Let us celebrate our differences and celebrate that we all live differently.
People will always fear what they don't understand. But just because someone is different doesn't mean they aren't a human being.
Life is too short, or too long, to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly.
So, let's live well. All of us. For if a single one of us is not living well...how could the rest of us?
Peace. Love. Live.
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