What makes someone so strong?

I, like any other person, love to be complimented. I love to have affirmation that I am headed in the right direction. I love being told I'm doing something good.

But that isn't what makes me stronger.

It's the insults. It's the ridiculous suggestions. It's the thoughts of another person forced upon me. I love being exposed to the cruelty of people.

That's what makes me strong.

The first time I was pregnant someone said "I'm mad at EC for getting you pregnant", as if to say "If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be in this negative situation".

I love Eric. It was as much my fault as his that we became pregnant the first time and it is still BOTH our faults that I was blessed enough to make a beautiful life again.

I miscarried and someone said "I had a friend who had a baby and had to drop out of college", as if to say "Good or else you would have ruined your life".

I wanted my baby. I do NOT think losing my baby was a relief because then I could focus on graduating from college. If I did drop out of college, that would be my own choice and would not mean my life would be ruined.

I understand that both these comments could be seen as positive. I understand that some people probably agree with them. And that's fine.

But, to me, these comments are irritating. We didn't tell many people. I still have a hard time talking about it with anyone other than Eric. We confided in people we thought we could trust and find support and love from. I couldn't believe that anyone, especially "friends", could actually say these kinds of things.

Blunt, ignorant opinions make my stomach churn. But these told me who my real friends were. These showed me who I could really trust. These forced true strength to come forward. Or else I would have become one of them. The battle everyone fights in their lives involves real people. It involves being stomped on and kicked when you're already bruised and bleeding, weeping on the floor. It involves active decisions for your own well-being and humanness. It involves you to get up and fight back-blood, bruises, and all.

Other people can praise you and kick you as much as they want. That's out of your control.

It's up to you to stand up and come out of it all stronger.