Written two years ago.

I just started reading miscarriage stories and found pictures of babies miscarried mostly around 10 weeks.
The babies are so beautiful and have names like Blessing and Journey.
They look so cute and while I thought Solomon had been big, I think he was smaller than I remember.
Most of the babies pictures were only a little bigger than a nail bed.

I imagine now how Solomon might have looked in my hands and I think he may have looked a little like Izzy. (: I wish I had been brave enough to hold him but I could hardly look at him. I could hardly think about what he looked like dangling from me.

But the pictures show such adorable babies.

And I don't believe how any mother could rid themselves of these miracles.

Life is so precious.


...miscarriage is difficult. But if you tried your best as a mom, what more is there to do besides love your baby that didn't make it to the world of the living and simply skipped ahead to be with God.

I love my baby girl.

And I love and miss my little boy every day that I am able to hold and care for his sister.

This topic is so hard to talk about.

It leaves you in shock and at fault. You are given no reason. You only find one in yourself.

What could I have done differently? What did I do wrong?

It only gives you more reason to do right.
To love a life other than your own.
To give your life for a beam of hope, a spirit, a soul, a tiny little person.
To be responsible for another person.
We all have a reason.

I give for I have lost.

xxx

Beth