Today. (4/13/15)

Across from me, sits and acquaintance doing a project-not for this class. Her backpack is red. Her jacket is a black hoodie. The table is moving constantly. Wiggling. Papers are spread out on the table in no real order. They are just sitting there, unused. My box of yarn is-now accompanied by it's box brothers and sisters. And a lot of yarn.

I couldn't resist the urge to play with the boxes and the yarn.
I just had been reading this art book and feel bursting to the brim with inspiration.

I don't have a lot of art books.
I don't know what else I have to do for this class.

I felt a moment of meditation trying to keep my tower of boxes from falling: BALANCED.
I might have been moving the table more than she was.

I don't want to miss a single creation
IN
THIS
BOOK.


I'm done with it. The book, I mean.


things I like eating right now:

• avocado and smoked salmon
• maple bits pancakes with honey
• coffee
• asparagus
• tuna cakes + brown rice
• green tea vanilla greek yogurt with granola
• water
• turkey+avocado+lettuce sandwiches
• juices + smoothies

things I like right now:

• making art
• coming up with art ideas
• playing with belly
• watching shows with EC
• my new sandals - they are so comfy!! and only $25 from tjmaxx *u*
• writing papers
• reading magazines and self-help books
• singing to belly
• eating EC's cooking *u*

xxx

Beth!

The motivational speaker.

Yesterday, Eric and I went on a date and part of that was going to a lecture given by Mikey Burton (here's his website). He's a designy illustrator who does NOT work for free and creates a lot of fresh, adorable work.

Eric and I do NOT aspire to be graphic designers but as artists we related to the message he was trying to get into our heads. He said multiple things but ended with "make work that you wanna make, and be patient & focus on your craft". Many of his ideas he fleshed out solely because he was deeply invested in them, not because he knew he would make money or be successful through it while still attributing value to his work and not taking a "resume-builder" for payment.

He made me realize that what is important is the reason you started doing something. A friend of ours, at the last NC Diggs Deeper event, asked why we all had started dancing in the first place. He said, "People say, 'Because I love to dance' but the real answer is that it's fun". The reason people are truly passionate about anything is because they enjoy how fun it is. I love to create visually because it's fun. It's fun to put pen to paper, move to sounds, sing words and melodies. I don't do these things to make money. I'm trying to do that with them but that's not WHY I do them.

As artists, we have to stay grounded. Not only in our minds, but in reality. We have to remember why we do this in the first place and that what we do DOES have value. What we do is not for free, to be taken advantage of, to be stepped on and stolen from what we have worked so hard to create. What we do is to be treasured. Not just by others but by ourselves.

xxx

Beth

Three Month Baby/Postpartum

WOW.

This word sums up pretty much everything that has happened in the past three months.
I am in disbelief and constantly find myself in a state of shock.
I'm finally starting to realize I'm a mom (thanks to so many conversations where friends will tell me "You're a mom now!" or ask "What's it like being a new mom?"). And to their questions I can only reply "Weird. Very, very weird".

Because, well, it is. Even being prepared for 9 months was not nearly enough preparation. Even after 3 months of her being on this planet with us I still don't feel prepared.

Being a mom in the beginning was just making sure she was growing (eating, sleeping, getting tummy time, bowel movements). Now, I get to play with her almost all day. I get to see her smile and watch her roll over. I get to talk to her, do laundry with her, sing with her, read to her. It's so much more than before and I know we're only going to get to do even bigger, more complex things farther down the road.

She's currently on a bedtime routine that starts around 7 and in no particular order she: eats, takes a bath, is read to or sung to, and a lot of play. She's sleeping through the night and sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night to eat but she always goes right back to sleep afterwards. She's happy and healthy. That's all I can really ask for her. (:

And for me? I think I'm doing just as well.

Things I'm glad I can do again:

• Dance. (although limited)
• Eat raw fish and unpasteurized cheese.
• Cook!!!
• Put on my own shoes.
• Run.

Things I'm glad I can do now that I have a baby:

• Show her off. c:
• Always have company.
• Reassure pregnant friends that labor will NOT kill you (although it will feel like it).
• Pass on her weight to my husband.
• Dress her up.
• Send pictures/videos to my mom, mom-in-law, and sister.
• Hang out with my sister and her son. (:
• I could probably think of a lot more things.

My body:

• Does not hurt nearly as much. I can move a lot more but still not like I could before pregnancy.
• Tenosynovitis (I carry her a lot... Probably more than is recommended)
• My belly is still squishy but still going down! It's hard to remember that your abs separate during pregnancy and after having a baby, you have to basically build your abs from nothing.

My mind:

• Absolutely revolts at her cries. I always feel a need to soothe her (but my mom has told me she was the same way with me so I don't feel nearly as bad doing it).
• Is slowly working it's way to believing I am a mother (I was just getting used to being a wife...).

This was a lot of lists but I'm not really sure how else to put it. 

If you're currently pregnant I really recommend the What to Expect the First Year book to prepare you for what baby has in store for you. I didn't really read pregnancy books but I did read this one as far as the first month. It was very helpful and made me feel a lot more ready to take care of my little one. (:

Here's a link but try to look for the newest edition!

If you guys have any Qs for me don't hesitate to ask! (: You can comment below or email me at plizdeleon@gmail.com (:

xxxx

Beth

One month postpartum: I miss my long hair!

In the past month, I have learned so much.

• She will never be this small again so treasure every little second.
• You and your husband need to love each other NOW more than ever: let go of petty fights.
• Not many people get the kind of support I did from my boss and coworkers, my professors and classmates, my husband, my sisters and mother, my close friends, and the hospital/pediatric/gynecologic staff. (Not to mention the happy words of strangers -- thankfully, no one has said a mean word yet -- when they do, I will let you all know! (; )
• Appearance is completely unimportant when you're recovering, nursing, and learning to be a mom!
• My life is not nearly as important as her.

I am extremely lucky to be able to be a wife, a mom, a student, a money-maker, and myself.

Everyone is so kind and accepting. I didn't expect this kind treatment at all. I'm just glad I can surround myself with a supportive community and have the strength to simply ignore the rest.

I am very happy.

I am so so so lucky.

xxx

Beth

At 4 in the morning.

Around the world people are sleeping. People are waking up for breakfast. People are exercising to live longer. People are doing things to bring themselves closer to death. But the world is abuzz with life, with love, with soul.

And at 4 in the morning, my world is quiet.
I can hardly hear her breathe.

I can only see the slight rise and fall of her chest.
I turn my head.
He sleeps facing me, head buried at the edge of his pillow.
Her body is warm, bundled up.

At 4 in the morning, my world is complete.

Tiny Spaces.

Hello!

The morning began with Eric and me making breakfast and eating while watching a documentary called "Tiny". It's about people choosing to make a switch to a tiny living space (some 200 sq ft, some 90 sq ft). These people design and build their own spaces to simplify their lives, live green, the world at their fingertips and almost literally at the foot of their beds.

Watching this documentary, our 298 sq ft apartment looks huge. But hearing why they all converted to living simply made an even bigger impact on me. To focus less on material possessions; to live in the world rather than a gigantic mansion. To measure their success by their soul rather than their bank account.

I hope my soul holds more value than what money I have.

I hope my daughter will hope this, too.

We literally have one more week until her due date...
I wonder when she will get here and fill our lives with the hardest, yet greatest endeavor of all time.

xxx

Beth

Art Adventures 010715

I've been experimenting a lot lately.

Here are a few little pieces I've been working on this past week!

Brown and blue acrylics!

Plus graphite.

I love how organic this piece feels.

Red and brown acrylics.

Plus graphite.

I love sketching out girls like this...and I like how it can look when there are more than one! This was my scrap piece of paper for the commission I was making and it was just too beautiful to not work more with.

 This is a sketch, a mock-up, and the scrap piece of paper from the commission I'm working on.

I've only ever drawn lips so painting them is a brand new experience for me.

This is a in progress shot of one of the coffee pieces I worked on.

I have a lot of left over ground coffee that although expired still smells amazing.

It also looks amazing!

These pieces have had a lot more work put into them but I'll show that some other time.

Here is an in progress shot of a watercolor piece I've since finished.

I love mixing graphite and watercolor if that wasn't obvious.

I love the delicate colors mixed with the harsh lines.

A girl I sketched out.

She's had company since this sketch.

I'll show y'all in a little. (:

_________________________________________________________________________________

Here are a few pieces I have hanging at Appalachia Cookie Company.

New and old. (:

"flower girls"

graphite + acrylic

"two worlds"

acrylic

"lies"

acrylic

"lull"

acrylic

"overcome"

acrylic

You guys have seen these before but I thought I would show them again in their lovely framed state! (:

I am also participating in a showcase in Raleigh, NC next month.

If you're above 18, your support by attending this event would mean so much to me!

Tickets are $15 each! (:

Come one; come all! (:

xxx

Beth